Go for expensive or cheap?

Education is difficult and expensive, but whatever it cost, it's cheaper than ignorance... (by a wiseman whom I dunno the name)

Oh what to do..., in today's world everything needs to be paid. Even if you wanna throw the unwanted things! At least you need to have 20 or 30 cents in your pocket .. 

I already have an amount a BIG amount of debt that I need to clear out. (But I hope and pray to Allah that I only need to pay 10% of them or... can't you just give it free as a gift for the good performance..? ;p)

After this I need to try to get a full scholarship (no more loans) to pursue seeking al-hikmah...

Why bother to pursue seeking it?

To get a doctorate? Become a professor? Get well paid...perhaps?

No... it is because

الحكمة ضالة المؤمن حيثما وجدها فهو أحق بها 

Hikmah adalah barang mukmin yang tercicir, di mana sahaja beliau mendapatinya, beliau lebih berhak memilikinya

Al-hikmah- is the thing that was lost or being taken from us. That's why..

If only because of other reason than this, I don't think I have enough spirit to do it. (Especially after the 4 years; and that particular 1 year of experiences)

However, after rekindled all my dreams and look at the enthusiasms of KKT, Pia, Syamer, Niem (and those people who affect my life the most during my lifetime as a teenager..), I will slowly regain my courage to do it..

I can do this!

Brain 15 

Here's the deal, the place is confirmed and seat is reserved. But the 'Education is difficult and expensive'. Thus, hope I'm in the list to get the '15 Brains'... =) 

Any other suggestion? 

-gonna take more than a fist to enlighten an ignorant man-